Inicio > Historias > Espera (para @Divagacionistas)
~ 2016-11-14

—¿Ya estás?
—Espera que tengo que hacer una llamada.
—¿Ahora?
—Es que tengo que arreglar una cosa con la factura del teléfono. Es un minuto.
—Vale, te espero.
*bliblepblipblipblepblipbliiip*
Buenas tardes. Gracias por llamar a Yellow Communications. Para incidencias en el servicio pulse uno. Para incidencias con la facturación, pulse 2. Para…
*blip*
—Joder. Odio las centralitas electrónicas estas.
—Oye, te quería comentar…
—Espera.
Si desea notificar un cargo incorrecto, pulse uno. Si…
*blip*
—Es que tengo que contarte…
—Espera, espera, que ya contestan.
—¿Ya suena?
Buenas tardes. Gracias por llamar a Yellow Communications. En estos momentos todos nuestros operadores están ocupados. Por favor, espere y será atendido en breve.
—Jodeeeeeer…
—¿Qué pasa?
—Me han puesto en espera.
—¿Hay música chula?
—Pitingo. Espera, lo pongo en altavoz…
—Quita el altavoz, haz el favor.
—No me dejarás sufrir solo a mí…
—No, que te quería comentar una cosa. ¿Sabes que el otro día fui a…?
—Ay, espera, que ha parado la música.
Gracias por esperar. Todos nuestros agentes siguen ocupados. En breve le atenderemos.
—Nada, Pitingo otra vez. ¿Qué me decías?
—Que fui a ver a mi padre el otro día y pasé por la…
—Espera, espera, ¿a tu padre?
—Sí.
—Pero si no te hablas con él desde yo qué sé cuándo.
—Ya, no sé, pues fui. Pero espera, que no era eso. Pasé por la…
—¿En serio que fuiste a ver a tu padre?
—Que sí, pero que no era eso. Pasé por la parada de autobús y me encontré…
—Espera, que creo que ahora ya sí contestan.
Gracias por esperar. Todos nuestros agentes siguen ocupados. En breve le atenderemos.
—Vaya panda de inútiles. ¿Qué decías?
—Que me encontré a Laura en la parada del bus y me dijo que…
—Espera, ¿a Laura?
—Sí.
—¿Laura la del instituto?
—Sí, esa Laura. Laura la de todo sobresalientes.
—Pero espera, ¿no estaba en Suiza trabajando en no sé qué?
—En el CERN, sí. Pero la cosa es que me dijo que…
—Ay, espera, ¿hola?
—Holabuenastardes, gracias por contactar con Yellow Communications, disculpe la espera, mi nombre es Diego, ¿en qué puedo ayudarle?
—Hola, verás, es que me habéis cobrado mal en la última factura y quería…
—¿Sunombreparadirigirmeaustedsiestanamable?
—Es que te tengo que contar que Laura me dijo que había una…
—Alfredo. Espera que ahora no puedo. ¡No, no te lo digo a ti! Ahora me lo cuentas. No, digo, que me habéis cobrado mal y…
—Dígamesiestanamableelnúmerodecontrato.
—Ay, pues no lo tengo a mano. Espere un momento y lo busco.
—Cómo no, espero.
—…una plaza libre en su laboratorio en Lausanne pero que tenía que contestar enseguida y le dije que…
—¿El número de contrato viene en la factura? ¡Espera un momentito!
—Sí señor, ya me espero.
—No, no es a ti, espera a ver, aquí está, sí, el número es el 5492618.
—Muchas gracias, voy a hacer unas comprobaciones, por favor manténgase a la espera.
—…le dije que sí.
—¿Que sí qué? ¿Hola?
—Sí, señor, estoy realizando unas comprobaciones, por favor manténgase a la espera.
—¿Le dijiste que sí a tu padre?
—No, a Laura. Para ir a Suiza, a su laboratorio.
—Espera, ¿a Suiza?
—¿Señor Alfredo? Le paso con nuestro departamento de incidencias, por favor, no cuelgue.
—Pero… Sí, digo no, digo quiero decir, no cuelgo, ¿cómo que a Suiza?
—Es que Laura no podía esperar y yo…
—Gracias por esperar, señor Alfredo, mi nombre es Deyanira, ¿en qué puedo ayudarle?
—…y yo tampoco.
—¡Pero espera, espera, qué dices!
—¿Señor Alfredo?
—¡No es a usted! ¡Espera, no te vayas! ¿Cómo que no podías esperar? ¡Espera!
—Señor Alfredo, gracias por mantenerse en espera. Le informo de que no detectamos ninguna incidencia en su factura. ¿Señor Alfredo? ¿Oiga? Oiga, ¿sigue ahí? ¿Hola?


Comentarios (100)
Enviado por Daurmith el 2016-11-14 a las 18:02


Referencias (TrackBacks)

URL de trackback de esta historia http://daurmith.blogalia.com//trackbacks/76651

Comentarios

1
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-16 19:05


Buen ejemplo de nuestra atención flotante cotidiana. Y de nuestra despersonalización,también. Somos como partículas en el acelerador del CERN. Queremos ser bosones, pero en realidad somos fermiones, o sea: nos empeñamos en intentar incumplir el principio de exclusión de Pauli, que dice que el mismo lugar cuántico no puede estar ocupado por más de una partícula a la vez. Y saturamos nuestro espacio como individuos y como especie queriendo abarcar (y llenar) más de lo



2
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-16 19:05


Buen ejemplo de nuestra atención flotante cotidiana. Y de nuestra despersonalización,también. Somos como partículas en el acelerador del CERN. Queremos ser bosones, pero en realidad somos fermiones, o sea: nos empeñamos en intentar incumplir el principio de exclusión de Pauli, que dice que el mismo lugar cuántico no puede estar ocupado por más de una partícula a la vez. Y saturamos nuestro espacio como individuos y como especie queriendo abarcar (y llenar) más de lo



3
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-16 19:12

Más de lo que podemos, quise poner (se cortó)

Por cierto "Daurmith" (o Adela), un saludo. Me gusta tu blog y sobre todo tus relatos (los voy leyendo). Te envié un correo para pedirte permiso para incluir uno de ellos (que me encantó) en mi blog de reciente creación.

El que se titula "como en mis pesadillas", me pareció excelente.

No pongo la dirección del blog aquí por si no es correcto hacerlo.

Saludos.



4
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-16 23:45

Veo que mi comentario anterior se duplicó. Disculpas.

Acabo de leer -y releer- "Nuevos vecinos".

Simplemente la prosa que usas en ese texto es excelente, y te la envidio. Me recordaste varias referencias (Borges...). Pero sobre todo el Cottage de Landor de Allan Poe, que atrapa con la descripción pura de un lugar que resulta, en sí mismo, un personaje.

Aunque tú vas más allá de eso, y dicho personaje vuelve a ser lugar de nuevo. Y con una rutilante imaginación en el camino. Magnífico.

Simplente cautivador y hermoso. Enhorabuena.

Si no es abuso, te pediría que me dejes incluir ese texto también en mi blog (si es que lo deseas,claro)

Como crítica negativa, el texto sobre Noe está bien escrito. Pero se autodefine solo: no va a ninguna parte. Vale empezar una historia con un cadáver. Y vale terminar con él, sin concesión a la esperanza. Pero cadáveres a la mitad (y durante todo el transcurso) ya es mucho. Y no por lo macabro, es que resulta monótono y no sugiere nada.

Sería bueno que ese mar lleno de cuerpos muertos fuese un río, por decirlo así, para que desembocase en algún sitio. Aunque fuese en el Hades, no sé si me entiendes.

Espero que te tomes bien la crítica.
Un saludo.



5
De: Daurmith Fecha: 2016-11-18 21:57

Muchas gracias por la crítica, Bonifacio. Por supuesto que no me la tomo a mal, al revés, aprecio el tiempo que me dedicas y más si es para mejorar.

Y claro que puedes poner el relato que mencionas en tu blog, será un honor.

Un saludo y ¡gracias por leer!



6
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-20 14:29



Hola Adela, gracias por darme permiso. El honor es mío, me encanta cómo escribes. Por cierto, aparte de bien escrito, el relato sobre Noé sí me parece una buena idea, me faltó subrayar eso.

Pero esa realista (y original) "vuelta a la tortilla" necesita también una vuelta de tuerca, en mi opinión. Algún tipo de giro, aunque también sea macabro y se reduzca a algo sutil. O sea: algún matiz que haga al lector reflexionar más allá de "la realidad no es como en las películas de Disney", que eso los sabemos todos.

Ya puse tus relatos “Como en mis pesadillas” y “Nuevos vecinos” en mi blog. En la sección de colaboraciones que intitulo (odio esa palabra) “La cerca de Tom Sawyer”, a la que tú das el primer brochazo blanco ahora. Bueno, en tu caso gris, porque muy “Disney” no eres… El arcón del hermanito va a traerme pesadillas, y no estoy en la guerra (bueno, no del todo).

Puedes pasarte por mi blog con goteras cuando lo desees, aunque lo acabo de estrenar y todavía está fresca la pintura.

Gracias y un abrazo.

(Te adjunto el enlace a tu colaboración, bórralo luego si quieres):

http://paraguascongoteras.blogspot.com.es/p/la-cerca-de-tom.html



7
De: Daurmith Fecha: 2016-11-21 13:24

¡Gracias de nuevo, Bonifacio! Un honor inaugurar la sección y (casi) tu blog *reverencia*.

Si tienes usuario en Twitter avisa, he puesto allí tu blog y seguro que a la gente le gustará conocerlo mejor.



8
De: Bonifacio Álvarez Fecha: 2016-11-21 22:39


Gracias a ti, puedes pasarte cuando quieras. Pero no uso el pajarito azul ese de Twitter. No obstante, muchas gracias por poner mi blog en ese "nido". Sólo espero que no me venga una bandada rabiosa ahora y me masacre, como en la película de Hitchcock.



9
De: juncal Fecha: 2016-12-30 20:38

Hablar con los robots de las compañías telefónicas te roba la paciencia. El relato describe esa desesperación de la incomunicación humana cuántos más aparatos usamos para comunicarnos menos lo logramos.



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